Well, it's very weird how so much can change in a day. The wall that I so desperately wanted to climb over... has finally been done!!! Not just that, but I was able to take a sledge hammer to it.
Last night was one of the most important nights of my life. Last night, I swallowed all doubts and fears that I had about my relationship. Can I guarantee now that it's going to work out between us?? NO, of course not. But I'm sure going to put my heart and soul into making it the best relationship possible. I haven't felt so free in so long. It's like a ton of bricks have been lifted off of my shoulders. I finally got to see the real inside of the man that I have shared my life with for the past 3 months... and now I want to keep sharing it for as long as he can put up with me ;)
The thought of being able to share my thoughts, opinions and feelings with a man was so not believeable to me. Men have never been interested about what's going on in my head. Nor have they wanted to hear about the things that have been bothering me, things that are on my mind, problems that are going on in my head... but he does!! He has also been able to share his thoughts and secrets with me... and the thought that a man wants me to know everything about him (good or bad) is one of the most important things I've ever came across. I've never thought about it before.. being that I never thought that would be something given to me by a man. So, is it true love??? No, it's not to that level yet.... but I would like it to get there someday. I don't know what I would do without him now. I hate being away from him, when he leaves me to go to work at night I miss him so much, when I'm at work I can't wait to get home to him. I can finally say for the first time in almost 5 1/2 years..... I'M HAPPY.. REALLY, TRULY HAPPY!!
No comments:
Post a Comment